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I hope you enjoy the book.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Move


This had been her 3rd long distance relationship that had miraculously survived. After she fell out of love with her first boyfriend after he moved to Australia for a Master's degree, she had been guilt-ridden and very upset about having done that to him. She had sworn then that she would never fall in love again and would agree to an arranged marriage set up by her parents. Her vow was soon broken when she met Nakul, her new next-door neighbor, who was originally from Delhi and had moved to Mumbai for a short project.

Nakul and she shared a relationship for three years. She was blissfully happy for the first 8 months until he had to return to Delhi. She feared that she would fall out of love with him too. Luckily, she did not. She made every effort to visit him every 2 months but almost always felt that their bond was growing weaker. Nakul seemed distant each time and the last time she visited him, she knew why. He had found someone else in Delhi.

"Nothing serious", he said when she had discovered her emails in his inbox. "Will you marry me?", she asked. "I would have to ask my parents.", he replied without a blink. That's when she knew. Nakul did not really love her.

She was heartbroken, depressed, and isolated for almost a month. She was already 27. Most of her friends were married. Some of them even had a child. And here she was, lonely and without any urge to find someone for herself. Her parents showed her pictures of several men, prospective alliances that had come through an ad that her parents had placed in the Sunday newspaper. None of them appealed to her. Her thoughts kept running back to Nakul, her heart wanting him but her mind warning her against a man who had cheated on her.

And then one day, he came into her life like a knight in shining armor. Manish had always been a good friend. The friend who was not "boyfriend" material. He was a short, geeky guy with a funny dressing style and hardly her type. He had often lent her his shoulder to cry on with she sometimes reluctantly accepted. The last that she wanted was Manish as her boyfriend!! And yet, one evening, when she was slightly tipsy from her wine after dinner with him, she did not push him away when he tried to kiss her. His lips felt great on her lips, she loosened up, cherishing every second of their lip-lock, and wrapped her arms around him.

"Will you marry me?", he asked.
She nodded with tears in her eyes.

That night, after she was no longer drunk, she went over and over the entire episode in her head. Was it the alcohol that did the talking? Or did she really want him? When he called her the next morning with a "Good morning sweetheart.", she knew. He was the one. He was her short knight in a gaudy silver shining t-shirt who had always been there for her and accepted her for who she was.

The next month, his company decided to send him to the United States for a project. She was shaken and terrified. Her past told her that her relationship would end soon. Manish told her it was only a fear and that he would never to do anything to hurt her.

"You are the one", he kept saying over and over again in an attempt to reassure her. "I would never do anything to hurt you. You know I have to go. But I will be back soon to make you my bride."

She felt secure only for a short while. When his phone calls and text messages started dwindling, she began to fear that he had found someone else. She started questioning him, checking his inbox to find cues that would alleviate her fears, and began taunting him. He would sometimes clam up and sometimes be patient. And yet, she could only go a certain amount of time before unwarranted doubts would creep up in her head.

Manish did not return to India for two years. He said he was trying to save up money for their future. However, she was yearning to see him, to hold him, to be kissed by him, and to wake up next to him every morning.

"I send you pictures every week.", he argued, when she cried about missing him and wanting to see him.
"That's not the same!", she yelled back. "Do you think its a good idea for me to visit you?"
"How? It won't be easy to get a tourist visa.", he said patiently.
"How about me coming there for my Master's degree?", she asked.
"Think about it hard. Do whatever your heart desires but do it for yourself. Not just for me.", he said in his usual geeky style.

In 6 months, she was ready. She had gained admission in a university which was only 40 miles away from his apartment, or so he said. She had no idea. She knew no one else in the United States. That made it all better, she thought. There would no relatives spying on them and she could enjoy quality time with him. As she sat on the plane, all that she could think about was how her 3rd long distance relationship had miraculously survived. She was finally going to be with him.

After 18 long hours, she was finally in Chicago! Her eyes were dying to see him. She could hardly believe her eyes when he walked up to her and hugged her. He looked different. He looked stylish, confident, and mature. She hugged him hard amidst tears and he gently kissed her salty face.

"How are you?", he asked. "Did you take good care of yourself?"
She nodded her head in joy.

At his apartment, she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

The next morning, he said,"Let's find you an apartment."
"Wont I live with you?", she asked in dismay.
"No sweety. Your university is too far away. We can meet every weekend but we can't live together."

She felt heart-broken but said nothing. After all, he knew best. She knew nothing about the United States.

"When do we plan on getting married?", she asked later that day.
"Marriage? What do you mean?", he asked.
"Aren't we going to get married?", she asked with fear and shock.

He gently took her hands in his and said,

"Darling. I care for you very, very much. But I am not sure if I love you."

Here she was. Away from what she called home. In a big country that she knew nothing about. For someone who did not love her anymore. Her third long-distance relationship just failed. After she was in close distance with him.

A true story of someone I know.

138 comments:

Pavi!!!! said...

it happens! all the &^%$time! hv to go now...will comment more..

skeptic saint said...

hmmm...love is the weirdest of emotions...

must have been hard for the girl...

P said...

I don't like this story at all :((..specially right now when I am about to move within 40 miles from my bf's place after a long long-distance relationship.
What did the girl do? Did she stay in the same place? I can't even imagine how she coped with such a situation in a entirely new country with no other friends or family!

Neeku said...

Oh one of those life lessons... which hits you hard on your head and take years to heal...

I hope that girl is doing better now...

irshad said...

Hey,

This is the first time I am reading your blog and it is fantastic.... Simply amazing,

Rgds, Irshad

ishqia said...

my god......

after all it didnt had to be a true story..
just feeling so pity..

sometimes life is so hard..

best wishes for the girl..

Karthik said...

Really wierd and sad..Hope she found happiness later

Poorva said...

my first stop at your blog and your post's left me curious. what happened to the girl? and to manish? where is she now? that was almost a short story but do write the last chapter!!
cheers!!!

Keshi said...

very faimiliar story that happens to many women out there. U wrote it beautifully Sol.


**"Darling. I care for you very, very much. But I am not sure if I love you."


I just feel most men r afraid of LOVE cos it leads to Committment.


Keshi.

Arv said...

Hi Sayani.. first time here...

your post is filled with words that bring out the joys and pains that arise from all that we do in the name of love.

I just hope that she is doing well now.

take care... have a nice day... cheers...

Arv said...

oooppss... addresses you wrongly in my earlier comment. :)

must be the midday sun...

Hello Solitaire... :)

Hiren said...

i mite sound like a male chauvinist ... but there must be something more to this than what meets the eye ... I am not questioning the commitment of the girl in any which ways... her love is obvious from the anxiety and big decisions to pursue masters with the sole purpose of meeting the guy etc ... but I get a feeling that the other side of the story warrants a hearing too ...

A few of my close friends had to bear this situation of a long distance relationship and fortunately all of them are now married and enjoying life together ... so the point I am making is a relationship cannot break only because of the long distance factor ...

I sincerely hope that the girl is completing/has completed her masters in the US and is in for a bright future and a much much better life partner ...

Rakesh said...

understanding something is important than anything else...and girl didnot understand....and those who does mistake they will(should) suffer.. everyone should learn from mistake and mistake should not be repeated..good luck for that girl..good post:D

Deepti said...

One day, she will learn to love again and overcome this fear of getting hurt. Someday she will!

Southpaw unplugged said...

Sigh....khair! aur bhi gamm hai zamane mein mohabbat ke siva...

Back on ur blogs after a long time, the looks hv changed dramatically, looking good ofcourse.

Mush said...

Love aint made for all... only a few get lucky ! To all in love - "Stop thinking with your 'heart' else ull end up hurting yourself" !

backpakker said...

sad but true..i dont believe in long distance relationships
Lakshmi

Satish Bolla said...

well, can't say much abt this one. this, surely, is not one of your best. maybe b'coz it's a true story and truth always sucks. but hey, this story is good, if not awesome.
when i first read this one, i felt sorry for the girl. very very sorry, indeed.
but whn i re-read it for the second time(it's always nice to read to ur posts at least a couple of times to understand the feelings behind those), i felt that this situation maybe because of her own deeds. she seems to b over-protective n most of the guys don't like that.

rayshma said...

seen quite a few ppl go thru this. women & men. i have seen them struggle to find a foothold after such incidents... but what doesn't kill u, makes u stronger. and hopefully, wiser...
love, like life... is really strange...

lukkydivz said...

di, give a 100 twists to your stories but dont tell me they are real ones :(

peek said...

uff ..matlab yaar ufff

i could relate to a part of it.just that long distance never works.
if you are living in your world thinking of him ,its not guaranteed tht he will do the same. His world might have some happening chicks around or sexy new people much better than the past.

i hope she is doing fine.i wish she is happy now!!!

geet

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi,

Really it does?

Solitaire said...

@ Skeptic,

I am sure it was hard!

Solitaire said...

@ P,

What can I say? This is not YOUR story. Just remember that. Will update you about the girl in another section I guess.

Solitaire said...

@ Neeku,

Sad that people learn such lessons so early in life to be scarred forever!

Solitaire said...

@ Irshad,

Thank you! Keep visiting!

d SINNER!!! said...

hah...

i hav hrd such stories a lot..mebbe with a few diff twists here n there...


nicely put sol...i hope tha gal is doin fine

gunj said...

wat happened after dat??

Ankur said...

Sad.... :(

Sneha... seriously u depicts true emotions!!!!

but this was as sad as it can get!!!!

but i somehow felt tat this is true!!!!

Sam said...

This makes me rethink a few decisions am yet to make..

comfortably numb said...

thts d ugly truth of tht beautiful feeling called love
but i wudnt say tht her relationships broke coz of long distances...@least not only coz of it
neways...hopefully shes fine n has moved on well n truly

Karthik S said...

I sure belive that life if full of ups and downs...if there is down there will be up. Hope she will find her real love soon.

Very beautifully written.

Sam said...

Long distance relationships are not cool!!
it requires herculean effort to keep it going and in the end it woudl only drain you of every ounce of emotion that you have.. and once it gets over.. sometimes all it takes is a call... you feel devoid of any emotion... the zeal to live and enjoy simply evaporates.. all that remains is a ghost.. teh soul takes a long time to recover and come back!!!

btw, am not sypathetic with the girl.. and simply because she did the same to a guy in the first place... may be the way things got doled out were not fair.. but the end?? No.... Life has a queer way of giving out justice.. and den a harsh of teaching lessons!!

Life is perplexing and funny!!

iriz said...

i felt sad on this one. a true story and this must be tough for the girl. hope she'll find the right one.

well delivered story ;0)

Alok said...

Sometimes you hear a song that reaches to you deep, it makes you feel "wonderful", alive. Even if the song is sad.

This story came close to making me feel that. Well written.

To not care for what you Love is not only a crime to the subject, but it's a bigger crime to yourself. It's just a matter of strength.

Urv said...

The world out there teaches you not to expect things form people...
But then I feel that if one does not expect, then whats the godammn difference between a total stranger and your close ones...

Soham Shah said...

by any chance, is it ur own story???

i hv a gut feeling ;-0

Phoenix speaks.... said...

Yes... long distance relation are really hard.I've seen many fail too.But somehow mine is working..and I somehow feel it will.There are tough times of'course..much more than close relations face..yet again..it has it's own magic.

Solitaire said...

@ Phoenix,

It is people like you who can give hope to the hopeless.

Hope the magic in your relationship stays forever! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Soham,

Haha! My life story is really weird! It needs a thick book..maybe several books! 700 words are not enough!

Solitaire said...

@ Urv,

I have always read that expectation leads to disappointments.

But you are right! One cannot but help expect from those close. And if they fail to deliver, it is hard to keep faith.

Solitaire said...

@ Ishqia,

Yes it is quite hard.

Solitaire said...

@ Karthik,

:(

Solitaire said...

@ Alok,

Wow! You made this story seem much more beautiful than it looks!

Thanks!

Solitaire said...

@ Iriz,

Thanks! All my stories are usually sad. :(

Solitaire said...

@ Sam,

So do you think its all Karma?

Do you think that when she left the guy who moved to Australia that he was also punished in some way for some things that he had done?

And do you think that Manish will also be punished in some other way?

Solitaire said...

@ Karthik S,

Thanks!

Solitaire said...

@ Sam,

Aww! I will say this to you just I said it to P. This is not your story. It is someone else's. Yes, one should always be cautious but still don't be overly afraid.

Solitaire said...

@ Comfortably numb,

I think that there is a lot more to her relationships than this story reveals.

Solitaire said...

@ Ankur,

Really? You knew it was true before you read the last line?

You are psychic!

Solitaire said...

@ Gunj,

Maybe will write about that in a future story once I know more.

Solitaire said...

@ Poorva,

What can I say? Some things just have a short chapter.

Thanks for visiting my blog. Hope to see you around.

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

It is very true. I have met so many men who are afraid of commitment and the moment their gf says the "M" word, they say the "I care for you" line!

Solitaire said...

@ Arv,

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you come back soon and remember my name this time! Sayani is a nice name too, though!

Solitaire said...

@ Hiren,

So many people have so many questions about the different characters of this story. So I might come up with another chapter to this story. I think that there are many relationships that flourish regardless of the distance but here, it does appear that the distance has done a lot of damage, whether direct or indirect.

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

So according to you, she made a mistake in coming to the United States? Or something else? And what is the lesson that she should learn?

Solitaire said...

@ Deepti,

I can only hope and pray. Some wounds are deep!

Solitaire said...

@ Southpaw,

Only the gham that each person experiences at each time is the saddest of all. Right?

Solitaire said...

@ Mush,

Why not? Maybe we are all lucky, just not sensible enough.

Solitaire said...

@ Backpakker,

You don't? Any personal reasons or observations?

marvin the paranoid android said...

"The time we spent apart,
will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad,
I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you,
I wanna die lying in your arms"

so crooned westlife.. and i do tend to agree.. long distance relationships do break, but there might be some insecurity, some communication gap at the root..

anyways a haunting read...

Shekhar said...

Ahhh!!! Sorry could not read completly. In a little hurry. Would visit again. Read completly and comment.

Southpaw unplugged said...

Absolutely....and the moment u turn out to find something even more painfull, its like chalo itna bura bhi nai hua....:)

humbl devil said...

hope that someone is doing well now...

well, i believe...
what goes around comes around...

i really hate guys who are afraid of commitment...fir pyaar kyu karte hai???
aur ladkiya...why are they so naive???
especially indian gals...

humbl devil said...

hope that this story aint your life story...

Rakesh said...

i never told that going to usa is her mistake.....put urself in that place and think...u will find ur mistake is more accountable than others..aur pyar-waar matlab ki bate hai dost thats my thinking.

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

I still dont understand what the mistake is.

Solitaire said...

@ Humble,

I think Indian girls are raised that way...some of them only grow up with the aim of being married. But in this case, I think the guy may have been sincere in the beginning but could have changed colors the moment he wen to "foreign".

Solitaire said...

@ Southpaw,

We all have our ways of making ourselves feel better, I guess.

Solitaire said...

@ Marvin,

I have heard so many such stories. Kind of stopped believing in long-distance relationships now.

Solitaire said...

@ D Sinner,

Yeah..its becoming so common now!

Solitaire said...

@ Satish,

But don't you see how she has a reason to be overprotective? And don't you see how the guy should have also talked to her about it rather than just shrugging her off after she lands in the US?

Solitaire said...

@ Rayshma,

Yes I am more and more convinced each day that love does not come easy to people and that those who have it are really fortunate.

Solitaire said...

@ Lukky,

Why? Is the truth bitter?

Solitaire said...

@ Geet,

That is soooo true! I think in long distance relationships, people continue to grow but they may grow in different directions. The same appears to have happened here.

Satish Bolla said...

@solitaire
i can sense her reason for being over-protective. and the guy didn't shrug her off jus like that. he took his time to convey her his decision. i'm not blaming the girl for this. i jus had a hunch. that's all.
n am not a male chauvinist. am still human enough to understand n feel the pain of others.

Preeti said...

:( :( :(

Sam said...

I do believe in Karma!!
The first chap being punished.. not necessarily... it works both ways...
you do bad.. you get worse!!
you do good.. you get better!!
you be just.. no matter what at teh end of teh day you'll be the one happy!!
if wrong has been done to you... either you were at fault someday... or maybe something better is coming your way... unless you see the night would you ever appreciate the sunrise and teh day that follows??
The situation is a mix and match of it all!!
I'd say.. for her.. she's had her share... now is the time i guess when something good i mean really good is coming her way... only she needs to have the heart to trust it... and the sanity to judge it carefully...
being stupid in the matters of the heart is suicidal... and she has learnt it the hard way!!! I'm sure she won't repeat the mistakes!!!

SS said...

If the relationship cannot survive the distance, it is not meant to be. The girl still has to meet Mr Right.

Rakesh said...

once again i read ur post..i think i am not good in any language to convince u what i am telling(i mean that i am neither good in eglish nor hindi)...i never felt in love but acccording to my life's experience if someone is betrayed by something or somebodey they should not repeat same mistake.

Pranay said...

Such a heart touching account....was gonna praise you as usual....but if it's a true account, it's terrible.
But will still praise you....only you can write something like this!

Macadamia The Nut said...

Ewck! Love! Ewck! Ewck!
:D Now I'll sit back and wait for the brick bats to rain on my head.

P.S. Wait and watch, your friend will become a stronger, (albeit more cynical) more independent person for the lessons learnt. But its all for the good.. I guess.

MAN IN PAINTING said...

Distance is always important in the mental and physical space.Long distance relations will seldom work.
Liked the intensity...
me too blog.
do visit
bye
take care...

La vida Loca said...

this breaks my heart

I Walk Alone!!! said...

Sneha you really write well. I know its a true story but you have really put it across beautifully.

Honestly after reading it I personally felt as if I am hitting a low. Hope the girl is fine.

Could relate to it as well. How about the same person chosing someone else over you for two times in a row; while you still believed the feelings to be true each time. Ah!! And I know I would probably still like to believe it if it happens once again from the same person.

Insane!!! I know thats how I am :)

Ankur said...

aisa nahi hota kya ki sometimes u really start feeling the emotions and then u know!!!

mujhe aisa laga, i dont know how much i m right or wrong, but i felt it this way... u r d person who will tell me this!!!

no psychic abs here!!! :P

Cheers!!!

nik said...

heart breaking story ... but painted only from the perspective of the girl ... however i (heartlessly) blame the girl for her naivety in not reading the situation and nope claims that she was in love won't cut it this time.

Solitaire said...

@ Nik,

Maybe she was hopeful, not naive. Who knows. We can never judge the situation until we are in it ourselves.

Solitaire said...

@ Ankur,

Accha hai!

Solitaire said...

@ I walk alone,

Sometimes it is hard to let go. Maybe our feelings are real, even though theirs are not.

Good luck!

Solitaire said...

@ La Vida,

I know. It is very sad.

Solitaire said...

@ Man in painting,

I have seen many work and many fail. I think there are several dynamics involved in long distance relationships.

Solitaire said...

@ Macadamia,

It all turns out for the good but why do some people learn the hard way?

Solitaire said...

@ Pranay,

Oh thank you so much!

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

If your girlfriend betrays you tomorrow (god forbid), is it your mistake that you trusted her? I don't think so!

Solitaire said...

@ Ss,

Yes. I hope she does!

Solitaire said...

@ Sam,

Who knows!? Maybe something good will come her way and she will not be able to trust again.

Solitaire said...

@ Satish,

I know! Its easy to put the blame on the girl or the guy but I think "taali ek haath se nahi bajti".

Solitaire said...

@ Preeti,

I know! :(

Rakesh said...

yes absolutely right that will be my mistake if i have came across the same problem before it...and most important thing how trust builds up....now a days people do not have guts to tell "I am wrong" after doing mistakes and it hurts others....thats my understanding yaar..i may be right or wrong...till now i have not come across any person to trust(full)....again girl mistake is more accountable than others...?

Arti Honrao said...

It's different to read a story as "fiction" then the words "A true story of someone I know." pierces your heart and you feel the pain. Even if I do not know the person, I felt the pain, so deep.

If she's your friend and you can be around, remember -
She is going to need a lots of hugs from you. Be there for her.



GBU and her too
Arti

Rakesh said...

yes absolutely right that will be my mistake if i have came across the same problem before it...and most important thing how trust builds up....now a days people do not have guts to tell "I am wrong" after doing mistakes and it hurts others....thats my understanding yaar..i may be right or wrong...till now i have not come across any person to trust(full)....again girl mistake is more accountable than others...?

Vandita said...

oh crap... this story sounds a lot ive heard and seen in life... with ppl really close to me, and the worst part is that u never really know what u did wrong. :(

rantravereflect said...

well, tat was really horrible.. but ive seen this happen in soooo mnany of our lives, tat these things dun surprise me any longer..

but it's teh worst feelin when ya leave everything n go flyin to someone, n tat someone drops ya without a second thought..
:(:(
is she ok now?

Macadamia The Nut said...

It's not 'most' people. It's ALL people. At least, that's what I believe.

We got to learn to live with the fact girlfriend. What say?

g-man said...

shit! this is so common these days it really gets my dander up. one of these days, i won't stop short of bloody murder!!!

Mush said...

:) .. whateva.. i love reading ur stories keep em coming. _my blogs updated too - do vist

nik said...

"Maybe she was hopeful, not naive."

.... "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride"

Solitaire said...

@ Nik,

But she was not wishing and hoping for the impossible. Wasn't she led to believe that it would happen?

nik said...

"Wasn't she led to believe that it would happen?"

... comes back full circle whether she was naive enough to believe his cozy words.

Quaintzy Patchez said...

that was sad!!

Sam said...

i pray it doesn't happen... and she realises it sooner than later!!

Rohit Talwar said...

A truly awesome read. Read it twice. I'm glad I visited your page today... things at work had me screwed. Such a breather here :)

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Is there ever a logic in love..does love always have to end in marriage..Is there a male logic &a female logic in love..more questions than answers I guess.
Nicely done (real) story
TC
CU

mirage said...

happens all around us, doesn't it?

She'll get over it..

Hammer said...

Is marriage that important?

rashmi said...

well written sory...how is she now? do complete the story...wonder if she 'thought' she was in love with him ...sometimes the pressure of being single when everyone around u is getting married makes u believe that u are in love with the wrong person even though u are not...

long distance relationships need a lot of trust, commitment and efforts from both sides to be successful...

SwAThi.... said...

Yet another typical "Solitaire" masterpiece... :)

And now for the obvious question..What happened next?

Solitaire said...

@ Swathi,

I don't know!! Everything is still in the process!

Solitaire said...

@ Rashmi,

Very well said! People do not realize what they are getting into until well into it!

Solitaire said...

@ Hammer,

Maybe it is. Maybe not. Why do you ask?

Solitaire said...

@ Mirage,

Question is how and when?

Solitaire said...

@ Compassion,

Love is quite complex, isnt it?

Thank you!

Solitaire said...

@ Rohit,

Oh thank you! Am glad you visited! Come back again.

Solitaire said...

@ Sam,

Hope so!

Solitaire said...

@ Patchez,

:(

Solitaire said...

@ Nik,

If this is the case, then it would mean that we can never trust what a loved one says?

Solitaire said...

@ Mush,

Thank you!

Solitaire said...

@ G-man,

Who do you want to murder?

Solitaire said...

@ Macadamia,

Yeah! Life is funny. It has its ups and downs.

Solitaire said...

@ Rantra,

Leaves me wondering if the girl is foolish or whether the boy is cunning. She is doing better.

Solitaire said...

@ Vandita,

Maybe you never did anything wrong. Maybe it was bad luck. Maybe that guy is not worthy of you.

Howzzat?

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

Once bitten twice shy?

Solitaire said...

@ Arti,

Thanks Arti. Its a selfish world. People will be there for her for a few days. After that, its going to be only her battle.

spicymist said...

"Darling. I care for you very, very much. But I am not sure if I love you."
last nine words are all it took 2 break that poor girl's heart. what did she do then? did she slap him n go 2 the university, or went home? hope she's doing good now. probably guys like manish are what makes most girls mistrust all men even when some of them are really really good.

g-man said...

if someone does it to me or to someone i care about, i guess i will murder them...

yaeecks veens is here said...

Whyd idn't he say that.. on the freaking phone :((

this is so very sad Solitaire... hope she is doing well now :)

Deepali said...

Hahaha do all your stories have a tragedy (for at least one of the characters) at the end? 3rd one in a row.