CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Thank you all for you support!

Please feel free to email me on solitaire2009@gmail.com for a discount code before purchasing THE ELEVEN at http://www.saikiranpublications.com/orderform.htm

I hope you enjoy the book.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Dear Diary


Dear Diary,

Sherry has left this morning in a huff, I can tell. Her clothes are strewn all around, her cereal bowl is lying on her computer desk, and her towel has dampened the blanket. I just woke up to the the glaring sunlight falling directly on my face but do not feel like stepping out of bed. I thought our day off together would be fun. I wanted to watch Sex and the City with her at the mall, followed by a quick dinner at Panera Bread. Its been so long since we went out together and did something fun. But she left to work, without telling me. She has not bothered to call me or text me, as she usually does, by this time. And I am unclear if I should or not. Will she snub me? Oh I am so miserable. I wish I hadn't brought Vivek home last evening.

Why doesn't Sherry understand? I do not love Vivek and neither does he love me. We are only colleagues and that's all there is to it. But Sherry hates him. She hates him for being my best friend. She hates him for being with me all day. She hates me talking to him. She thinks he will take her position one day. Sherry is so insecure. I wonder why? What's wrong with her?

I just turned our indoor fountain on. It almost feels like its crying out loud like I am crying inside.

Sherry was so cold to me last night. As soon as she saw me entering the house with Vivek, she darted into the bedroom, slammed the door shut, and spent the rest of her evening playing the guitar. I have tried so hard for them to get along well. God knows I have tried. But I have never succeeded. Vivek has also questioned Sherry's malice towards him. I have not been able to explain it to him. How can I ? Will he understand?

I am so frustrated. I feel like dying. Why is life so difficult? I wonder if Sherry wants to move out. I know I do, sometimes. But I cannot imagine us both in different homes. I am afraid if I talk to her about it, she might get upset with me. Anyway, I am not even sure if she will talk to me again after what happened last night. She called me a cheat, a liar, and cried herself to sleep. I have never seen her crying this way. It hurt me so much to see her so unhappy but it hurts to know that she thinks of me that way.

Between the two of us, Sherry is the exuberant one, always full of excitement, chattering away to glory, practical, level-headed, and bossy. I am the calm, slow, quiet, and emotional one. People told us we would never get along. And yet, we have. We do. Do we not? Or am I fooling myself? I don't know what to do. Am I going crazy? Do I need help? Will no one ever understand? Who do I talk to? God, someone please help me!

Why was I born this way? I feel so alone. I wish Sherry would come home right now. I wonder if I will ever be happy. I did not know it would be so hard. I think I am going to go back to sleep.
It is not easy being a bisexual in a heterosexual world.

Love,
Prats

154 comments:

viswajith.k.n said...

Well...are your posts based on personal experiences? Some of mine are like that...thats y am wondering about this...and yeah btw you should watch the movie THE DARK KNIGHT...The acting is good and at no point is mental illness portrayed in a wrong sense...

Solitaire said...

@ Viswa,

If my posts are based on personal experiences, then I am doomed!! Have you read my stories?

ceedy said...

lol @ your response to vishwa....

Its interesting how I witnessed some of the emotions that gays undergo just yesterday when they all cheered and echoed coherently at anything said my their icon (my new post)

the point is like you have summarized in the last sentence...only by witnessing them and being around them can one realize that they are as emotionally affected as anyone of us - like the emotions shelly is under going as described by you...

Pavi!!!! said...

I'm sure its hard...bloody hard to be a bisexual n hv ur partners from both genders be u'standing abt it.

So did u intend for vivek to be more than a friend to sherry or was he just a friend as sherry claimed?

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

It is hard for us to imagine how it will be to be like them without being them. I know what you mean. People make fun of them and create jokes about them. The truth is that they have a much harder life than us.

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi,

I have heard that bisexuals are looked down upon in the gay community. Not sure why.

As for Vivek, what does your imagination tell you?

Pavi!!!! said...

Unfortunately Vivek seems to be more than a friend. n sadly frm the story i feel..he doesnt even know tht sherry is a bi-sexual.

Srijith Unni said...

Well, I thought it would just end as a nice mushy letter, until the last line jolted me..! Oh' My.. I've heard of a twist in the tale, but this is like an hairpin bend.. Good one, as usual solitaire.

Have Fun, Take Care and God Bless!

With Best Regards,
Srijith.

La vida Loca said...

Sherry seems selfish. Guess she is Prat's partner?

I am said...

I wonder why people have to classified as 'bisexual' , mono-sexual etc etc.....why can't people just choose to live with their emotional self...who ever they feel comfortable with???

Keshi said...

Good writeup.

**It is not easy being a bisexual in a heterosexual world


Sexuality is a preference, not a social obligation.


I wonder if most ppl would ever u'stand that. *sigh*


Keshi.

Divkiran said...

Nice and Touching post girl

True, we cant even come close to understanding what they feel...but i think people like u, me and other people who have commented on ur post can atleast make an attempt to understand them and make things easier for them by just letting them be :)

Arv said...

Amazing one mate... not just cos it was a well written fiction but for the subject too.

To feel and write about something that is not natural to us is a talent. But then to choose a topic which would make most of the people so uncomfortable, despite all the modern times thingy, and to pen that character's emotions down is a work well done.

Maybe, this would help people who are know a bi-sexual in anyway understand their pains better.

Wonder what 'Sherry' & 'Vivek' feel if they read this? Guess that would solve Prats's worries.

Karthik said...

Nice Post..But isn't bisexuality becoming more accepted in today's society?

vatsal said...

nice template:-) and yes i drew it all that with photoshop

Solitaire said...

@ Karthik,

Is it really? Its not even being accepted that greatly in the Western societies. I am sure that Eastern societies are far behind in accepting it. In fact, people crack jokes that bisexuals have so many choices.

Solitaire said...

@ vatsal,

Thanks!

Abhishek Khanna said...

good one.. :)

HOBO said...

Time is the best healer...
Claps for your writing skills.

Shruti said...

Actually, thinking from Sherry's point of view, her jealousy is justified.. Prats' confusion is justified too.. as if Vivek's being in office with Prats isn't enough.. she even brought him home.. thought she knew that Sherry hates him. She deserves that little punishment for a day
:-I

Winnie the poohi said...

hey this is amazing story!

Loved the easy chatter the way it culminated in the end!
Kudos!

C R D said...

woah.bisexuality now? :d

i wonder if bisexual ppl even know that theyre bisexual..i mean they might feel that they just felt good and so played along...or something like dat..wonder how they realise?

thnx for visitng ma blog :)

cheers

PrAcHi said...

Nice one...
Sexuality is big problem all over the world. People don’t understand the right of the person to be as he/she is! Nice turn u have given to ur story. Waiting for ur further update :)
Thanks for visiting my blog.

Lash said...

There is this play called all about women which i saw a month back at NCPA. Somehow the story of your roomate hating your freind reminded me of one of the 5 stories in the play..

ceedy said...

@solitaire and pavi!!!!

On pavi!! comment...

Am I missing something here...

Isn't Prats the one who is bisexual and not sherry!!!

viswajith.k.n said...

lol...was just kidding...read two of u r stories...the diaries thing and I guess the one before that!

lukkydivz said...

Bisexuals are still a mystery to me!

Shruti said...

Sol.. u know.. many people here are thinking this is YOUR true story :-O
Good lord! :P

Solitaire said...

@ Shruti,

I know! :(
My name is NOT Prats! I don't even know any Prats!

Solitaire said...

@ Lukky,

What is so mysterious? Maybe I can help.

Solitaire said...

@ Viswa,

Ok!! Thank god!

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

Yes you are right! Sherry is just her partner.

Solitaire said...

@ Lash,

This story is not about my friend nor my roommate. This is purely fictional. Besides, the girl in the story is not only her roommate but also her romantic partner.

Solitaire said...

@ Prachi,

Thanks! Sexuality is not a problem but its acceptance is a problem. Don't you think?

Solitaire said...

@ CRD,

Are you heterosexual? When and how did you realize or did you just play along? I guess that's how they find out too.

Solitaire said...

@ Winnie,

Thank you!!

Solitaire said...

@ Shruti,

Maybe she does. But at the same time, Sherry should be a little trusting too, don't you think? Just because she is her romantic partner, does not mean that she is not entitled to having her own FRIENDS.

Solitaire said...

@ Hobo,

Thanks! But what will time heal here? Her bisexuality is a part of her. This will be a never ending issue for her.

Solitaire said...

@ Abhishek,

Thank you!

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi,

You confused Ceedy. Sherry is only a lesbian. It is Prats who is bisexual. And I am still unsure about Vivek. I believe he likes Prats but Prats does not really like him in that fashion.

Solitaire said...

@ Srijith,

Thank you!! :)

Solitaire said...

@ La Vida,

Yes she is. And I too believe she is very insecure and selfish.

Solitaire said...

@ I am,

Just like people are classified as low-caste, SC-ST, divorced, single, married, black, white, etc...that's what society loves to do. Clump people together and build stereotypes about them.

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

True. Some people also have the misconception that people CHOOSE to be that way when in reality, its not that.

Solitaire said...

@ Div,

I wish that people would live and let live. Its very hard to be a minority.

Solitaire said...

@ Arv,

Wow. Your comment brought a smile to my face. :)

Thanks!! I try and put myself in the shoes of my character and I have worked with the GLBT population so I understand to some extent, about the difficulties in their life.

Have tried to convey it to the audience.

Keshi said...

I agree Sol. It's not a CHOICE ppl make. It's an in-built PREFERENCE that cannot be altered to suit the society's norm.


Like how some of us like sweet food and some others like spicy food. It's an individual TASTE. Now can we change that? No.


I hope ppl u'stand that. And ur post raises awareness and educates ppl..and that's great.



Keshi.

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

Thank you! I hope so too. Although, some people think that this is MY story. LOL!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Yes, it kind of complicated.

Keshi said...

hahaha @MY story!


forgive them :). Not everyone has the opportunities and the ability like u and I do, to mix with all kinds of ppl with various tastes in various aspects of life, and take them as they are.


U did a brave job here!


Keshi.

Pacifier Returns said...

Hey, can you share that story with me???

Smiles :)

Pacifier Returns said...

Hmmmmmmm.....
You are right but the point is that if you call a BALL; a BAT then people will call you MAD....you will hardly found anyone appreciating or willing to understand your point of view.

I hope my point doesnt confuses you.

Smiles :)

MAN IN PAINTING said...

As far as human rights are concerned,nobody other than the person involved has the right to decide..But the real point will be missed again and again..Without knowing what is it to "relate" to something it will remain the same..male, female , animal, machines...dosen't make much difference..
Now about the story..
it was brilliant.
a sort of monkey jumps from one mental plane to another.. and finally the inverse kick..
perfect..
great creative courage!
Wishes..

Karthik S said...

Its very difficult to understand others problems without being in that position. Good story!!!

Solitaire said...

@ Karthik,

Thanks!

Solitaire said...

@ Man in painting,

Oh thank you so much!

People do not understand or deny that the GLBT population also feel the same as heterosexuals do and can have similar issues in their romantic relationships.

Solitaire said...

@ Pacifier,

Your comment very much confused me. What are you talking about?

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

Yes..they have been forgiven. I just hope they come back to read my response to them. Otherwise, right now, someone might be talking about how they know a bisexual blogger who wrote about her experience in a diary and how they got to read that diary!!

Solitaire said...

@ Mel,

All relationships are..aren't they?

d SINNER!!! said...

I second Keshi...

b/w written well...

Vinz aka Vinu aka Vinayak said...

@ Solitaire

Nice story. got the gist of the story from the two para's itself..
Waise, going by your previous posts that was the first thing came to ma mind. Well portrayed characters...

Keshi said...

They mite be already thinking that. LOL but dun worry Sol. U know who u r and those who matters know that too.

:)

Keshi.

Pavi!!!! said...

@ceedy n sol : sorry abt the confusison. I messed up the names

Hmm..so u say prats doesn love vivek. But only he loves prats...hmmmmmm

i have a Q..just curious. So, do bisexuals tend to hv a male n female partner at the same time...or is it mostly one at a time?

Stupidosaur said...

Why sol why! why why why!
(was in mood for melodrama)

why did you have to write such a predictable tale?

Solitaire said...

@ Stupid,

Because I did not want to give you yet another "Thank god its only a story" story.

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi,

LOL! Why would such a question occur to you? Bisexuals also are normal, you know. They don't cheat. They just feel sexually attracted to both sexes.

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

Yeah!! Thanks! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Vinz,

Going by the gist of my other stories which have nothing to do with the GLBT population, you gaged that this story is about a bisexual lady? WOW! You are a genius!

Solitaire said...

@ D Sinner,

Thanks! Which comment of Keshi's do you second?

Anu said...

Nice one.. I felt she was gay, but not bisexual. Her attachement seemed more towards sherry.. its sad to feel alone in this workd, just because of your sexual preference

rayshma said...

i've heard that bisexuals are not really looked at in the same way as gays even in the gay community... dunno how right that is, tho...
must be difficult.. first to come to terms with your own sexuality... then to find one's place in society... wonder how they cope with everything life throws their way...
loved the piece... :)

Javits said...

Whoa., interesting letter. Nice write up.

PrAcHi said...

Yes.. That's true..

Divkiran said...

Agree...it hard...

Had a friend who was homosexual...poor thing had to get married and well, now he is unhappy, the person he loved is unhappy and so is his married life partner... his suffering jst dosn end and had no option but to comply to the rules of the society

Prats said...

Its so strange to come out here, and read a story and leave a comment with the same name...heheh


Loved the play of words, short and crisp..and yes, each ones' sexuality being under a scanner can be stressful. And i'm sure Sherry should be a lil more trusting...looks like there is a heavy dose of insecurity there!!

And hey....don't be sorry about that...I have no issues at all...

HOBO said...

It is not an issue for her but for others...
But she has to say to her that she is not bisx

comfortably numb said...

nice write up...complicated relationships yaar!!!
bisexual is individual prerogative but u still can't be in two romantic relationships @ one time....thts cheating!!!

Jack said...

Solitaire,

I have been visiting you for sometime but could not leave comments as you have not given option for Name/URL.

You writings do bring out a lot of anguish in the minds of persons about whom you write. I felt very sorry for the girl in Party or for the boy in Bangladeshi girl. This one again shows turmoil in mind of a person who wishes to live life as it is. Good descriptions and topics about which our society is not ready to accept as yet.

Kindly do visit me at

o3.indiatimes.com/niceguy251

Take care

vasanth said...

It is a curious triangle. I feel bisexuality is akin to Disassociative identity disorder in many ways. Or else it could be an overextension of a megalosexual personality. If one can swap a male for a femalein the bed with the ease of changing one's clothes, he/she must beoversexed. In simple terms it reminds me of a joke about a marine when asked whether he likes blondes, brunettes or redheads replied "YES"

Deepti said...

I am sure it must not be easy being different .. for no fault of theirs .. the ending was just wow ..

CutePooja said...

a moving story...m almost in tears...relationshps do become rly difficult at tyms...

Solitaire said...

@ Cutepooja,

Yeah..especially if its the same sex. Don't you think?

Solitaire said...

@ Deepti,

Yeah. Its not easy being a minority.

Thanks!! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Vasanth,

**It is a curious triangle.

It actually is not. It's mere insecurity on the part of Sherry that makes her perceive Prats' relationship with Vivek to be of the romantic kind.

**I feel bisexuality is akin to Disassociative identity disorder in many ways. Or else it could be an overextension of a megalosexual personality.

That's a great folly. Being bisexual is not a DISORDER. Its only a different sexual preference.

**If one can swap a male for a femalein the bed with the ease of changing one's clothes, he/she must beoversexed.

The same can be said about those who are heterosexual and cheat on their partners.

Solitaire said...

@ Jack,

Oh thank you so much! I try and talk about issues that society is struggling with, with the hope that the awareness spreads amongst the readers. Will definitely visit you.

Solitaire said...

@ Comfortably,

It is. But is she cheating here? Is it wrong to have a friend when in a a relationship just because there is potential to have a romantic relationship with that person? In that sense, no committed man should be friends with a woman and vice versa.

Solitaire said...

@ Hobo,

In other words, she has to lie to her partner?

Solitaire said...

@ Prats,

Thank you!! I was not sure how people take this. Some people even thought this is MY story and a page out of MY diary so I cannot imagine what a person with the same name might go through.

Thank you for your feedback.

Solitaire said...

@ Divkiran,

OMG! That is very sad. It breaks my heart to see the plight of the GLBT population in places where their sexuality is not understood and not accepted.

Solitaire said...

@ Javits,

Thank you!

Solitaire said...

@ Rayshma,

What you have heard is right! I don't know the reasons behind it though. I cannot even imagine the plight of this population. They have so much flack to face. First themselves, then their parents and family, then the society, and then finding a mate and living with them.

Solitaire said...

@ Anu,

You were right! She is attached to Sherry and only a friend to Vivek. It is sad that this population does not find enough support in society.

Vandita said...

umm i kinda never thought of it like that... this post sure makes one think...
although i feel that it wud've been equally hard if not more for sherry to understand her partner

Pranay said...

And Solitaire's Back!!!

Pujan said...

As always interesting one....you keep reader locked reading upto end.

good writing skill.

Solitaire said...

@ Vandita,

Maybe it is hard for Sherry. Maybe it is her first time with a bisexual and she does not know how to handle it.

Solitaire said...

@ Pranay,

:)

Solitaire said...

@ Pujan,

Thanks!! :)

Compassion Unlimitted said...

The twist was too sudden.Immediate reaction,are there people like that!Are they human being human beings too.But then,so many things surface these days,one has to digest it !!
Hats off,you took it till last line and left me and us dumb !!
TC
CU

nik said...

wow ... good post on a delicate topic .. well woven.

sorry ... but i don't have anything useful to contribute on sexual preferences. :(

Divkiran said...

Nice new pic girl...lookin vry pretty

So whns the nxt update?

rantravereflect/ jane said...

fukn good last line..
ma jeez..
bi in a hetero -sexual world!!??

ya got me there woman..
ya really did..

Ne said...

I am always late! lol Sorry!!
I liked this.. I have some gay friends.. one of the past away earlier this year..

I can say it is hard being who you are.. or what you want to be!..

Soli keep on writing.. I am going to have to blog roll every one of these now.. so i don't mess out and comment late!!

Shalom!

Solitaire said...

@ Compassion,

Of course there are people like that in this world. Maybe its a foreign concept but there are many out of the closet now.

Thanks!!

Solitaire said...

@ NE,

Thanks! Better late than never, right?

I am glad you manage to find your way here. It is truly hard to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual in this world but somehow they are managing and I hope things get better for them.

Solitaire said...

@ Rantra,

Thank you!!

Solitaire said...

@ Divkiran,

Thanks!! Updates on Calm Frenzies are very very slow, sadly.

Pinku said...

hey Solitaire,

this one was real good. Love whether hetrosexual or homosexual leads to such complications frequently.

U have captured it very well

Đžidhi S said...

hmm.. its a jhatka

as in i ws expecting a simple gay types ending of her roomamte being one.. but bi-sexual... ur a killer gal.

Veens said...

I kinda think i knew this comin

Think Tank said...

blogrolled you

Mush said...

good piece.. :) Poor prats, she shud talk abt it to sherry.

Macadamia The Nut said...

Lol!
Nice twist.. but I kinda expected it ;) Thanks to an overdose of *gulp* Tila Tequila
*puke puke*

P.S. You pics look more and more stunning each time

Ankur said...

u know, somehow i feel these stories to be real!!

so u r amazing with ur skills!:)

nice one!
as its a story so wont comment on the content! :)

Cheers!!!

Satish Bolla said...

as usual, a big bang in the end. i was thinking in a filmi way as usual. i thought that vivek did something to sherry which prats doesn't know abt till the end n that was the reason why sheery doesn't want prats to mingle with vivek. but crooked u changed the whole thing....

Kulpreet said...

Lovely interplay of emotions through well thought out words.

The difficult subject kept the edge intact, even better.

Hope to get back here more often.

Lakshmi said...

i was looking for the solitaire touch as usual..and finally found it ...nice, a wee bit predictable perhaps ?

gunj said...

i think i already cud predict d end!!
nice post though!

Meghna said...

U write wonderfully yaar.....such nice twists at the end and ur stories are delightful to read.....this was a bit diff. than usual but really loved it :)

Meghna said...

I dun agree with the above two comments! This was bit diff. than ur usual but a delightful read.....I have become ur fan di!!! :)

Meghna said...

Loved reading it...teh twist int eh end made it even more interesting....a bit diff.. but nevertheless, not bad di :)

(^oo^) bad girl (^oo^) said...

Good good good......

Quality Tale said...

Normally,

No one can dare to expose him/herself in front of people. But you are the one who dares to do all these stuff. It is nice to read all articles of urs. Please keep your diary updated coz I am interested in such stuff because i like it from the core of the heart....

Solitaire said...

@ Quality Tale,

You must realize that this is purely fictional and not pages from my personal diary. It is a different matter that this could indeed be someone's real life story.

Solitaire said...

@ Bad,

What's good Bad Girl?

Solitaire said...

@ Meghna,

Thank you sweetie pie!!

Solitaire said...

@ Gunj,

Thanks!!

Solitaire said...

@ Lakshmi,

Maybe. But an eye-opener too for those with closed minds towards bisexuality? Thanks!!

Solitaire said...

@ Kulpreet,

Thank you for stopping by and keep visiting!

Solitaire said...

@ Satish,

Haha! This is no filmi chakkar!

Solitaire said...

@ Ankur,

Thank you so much!!

It is a story on this blog but very well could be someone's real life story!

Solitaire said...

@ Macadamia,

Thanks!! :)

How have you been?

Solitaire said...

@ Mush,

Maybe she will. :)

Why have you not updated your blog in a while?

Solitaire said...

@ Think Tank,

Thanks!! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Veens,

You think or you knew?

Solitaire said...

@ Nidhi,

Hehe! Thanks!

Solitaire said...

@ Pinku,

Yes! Any relationship can be complex. Thanks for the insight!

Invincible said...

Hey Thanks for stopping by my blog !!

You are a great writer !! No wonder the comments are in 3 digits.
I also liked the previous post.

Hey, how many blogs u've got :)

Satish Bolla said...

@solitaire
ya, everything can't b filmy in life

the_thinker said...

I think to get along and to be able to comment i need to read everything from the very beginning...

Pri said...

hmm...the choice of names intrigues me at times...u outta be careful while keying in such controversial writeups...
(i dunno if u arnt aware, there are two bloggers by the names u got in there)

anyways, nice try in attemping to capture the mind of a bisexual...

hows u been btw? :) long time!
cheers

Rakesh said...

relationships can be very complicated sometime :-(

Solitaire said...

@ Invicible,

Thanks!! I have lots and lots of blogs. Which one do you like the best?

Solitaire said...

@ Rakesh,

They sure can be..

Solitaire said...

@ Pri,

Thanks! I wrote another post yesterday on the plight of this population in Psychobabble. I also informed Prats about the use of her name in this story and she is quite ok with it. :)

Cannot find unique names for my characters always. They are bound to coincide with someone or the other in such a huge world.

Solitaire said...

@ The thinker,

Then why don't you?

Ekta said...

:-(((
aww thats sad...but well who said relationships were easy!
Guess the only way to sort this out is to have a face-face chat with her...straight on!

Pooja said...

yeah true...

usha said...

well that story could as well fit into a heterosexual world. You just replace Sherry with any man, and quite a few women would have found themselves right there. don't you think so? the feelings are all the same. only the sexual preferences are different.. well written.

Sayani said...

left me wondering .....
its really hard to comment as hard i felt stepping in your shoes ....
take care

lukkydivz said...

update this blog na di :) i love it :)

Scribblers Inc said...

that was a real nice way to bring the topic across!!!:D

Scribblers Inc.

Adi Crazy said...

The end shocked me.
Good one. :)

Standbymind said...

Nice one!

:)